12.12.23

τρίτη

okay wowow updates:

got job working for disabled artist named joe in his maze-like studio/living compound

FREE.99 is in a state change. i barely know enough about physics to make this analogy but its like we went from liquid to gas, with my personal goal to be plasma. as it stands our final release will be the self-titled. & im finishing the whole thing.

we've been wasting hella money on transpo cuz the SEPTA is a much better system than i realized. main problem is the subways are dirty as fuck, like even more than the nyc metro if u can imagine that. but i have to take the bus for work so im learning the routes, & we can kinda go anywhere now for cheap. just gotta plan cuz it takes a while. joe lives 15 mins away from me but my commute is an hour, however round trip on the bus its a whopping $4 vs $35 in ubers. BEST part is with the same ticket u can transfer twice for free, as long as its within i think a 2 hr window. thats across diff lines too like u can transfer from bus to train for free with the key card.

i also coulda been proper screenprinting this whole time with relatively small monetary investment :0 i simply will now.

i found my name !! at least partly cuz i still want a last name. but, its four. its been right there. i started with fourpoint as an artist name & that got me most of the way there but it wasnt until that night that echo called me four that i was like. oh??? OH,,, shes calling me four in her novel ^-^

there has been this theme of changes/fixes to things that have been right under my nose. im struggling with guilt that i didnt make the changes sooner. they seem so glaringly obvious now that im on the other side of things. but yeah my growth was just...slow. in some cases too slow. instead of telling myself "dont feel regret u dont have to!" i might as well meet myself where im at. i feel regret, guilt, fear, shame. all i can do tho is take my realizations & move forward. which is now happening at a rate i couldnt expect. thats kinda how it goes with me. im either in like marinate overnight mode or tossed into the deep fryer.

12.6.23

τετάρτη

all my love
all my grief

thats all i'll have to say about it

11.12.23

κυριακή

hewwo notebook it me ~
i wanna revamp this baby.

9.18.23

δευτέρα

just staring right in2 it. idk. im here. going gba widdit. im glad the lantern still works. & i liked yesterday. rain-soaked dress sticking to my thighs.

today is squash day. it might also be bread day. i wish it was pizza day too. a day can only have so many things. there are so many hours. i spend them online. i simulate being a colonizer for fun. questionable. what if instead of conquering land back in the day countries just played a board game about it. release ur urge & then just deal with not having bananas or spices.

i remembered what i forgot. nice. oh i remembered a totally different thing. that night upstairs. god what a weird place. weird stuff happened downstairs too. the dancing was fun tho.

can i press Y and kikc my dad out of his own house gta style? i think i should be allowed on account of the Please.

9.13.23

τετάρτη

what am i thikning about 2dae. how my shirt sticks to me. the many toasts to be eaten. i had weirdbad dreams last nite and could not get comfy but they are fake and i am happy now. i make the little eeeeee sound when i see my babby. the cat with flipflops. i want shopping day to come faster >.< i just remembered easter haha wtf its just like my life full of eggs & bunnies. forget that monster reborn guy.

the 13th solar question
+sight , linkbridge , glass-like

"we'll put the teeth back in"

8.31.23

greek keyboard thursday

please giv e me the halloween car pink & green back wih silver and every frraction of time in a little box what the fuck. except i have it somewhre. where is the pumpkin tote i cnt believe i would misplace it. where is my mind pixies im so sick flyleaf.

8.9.23

τετάρτη

linen. hours....it wont take that many. where to start? where i am. yea ,,,

7.21.23

παρασκευή

many updates ,, its been a week since aiv got here, the same day i severed the tip of my left thumb. its healing pretty well but i did damage my nerve endings x_x

we're finally doing a proper collab && its so coooool im excite bike ~ i like having other people in the house. i always think i'll need more space & get all bleh abt it but i am a communal lady. 2 different creatures have gotten stuck in our walls within this week. first was def a bird but the other sounded too scratchy & not fluttery enough....hope theyre okie :<

also my laptops wifi card failed and the drivers for my usb adapter dont support my current version of mac os (which i do not want to be using anyway) so im updating this rn from a flash drive linux boot. yeehaw

7.9.23

κυριακή

galette grind resumed

weirir dz mood its good tho idk my body is all moist & stuff. July Ninth. receiving help but not feeling Connected, not asking for it. ungrateful? nono ,, imbalanced. 3Y3Z & the scale etcetc.

sunday family lunch with the windows & side door open. recycled lids from various plastic containers on top of glasses to maintain the beverage-fly treaty. a cute pasta shape i hadnt seen until then, tiny little squares. theyre plain with some butter, sauce separate.

she refuses to watch the last episode of M*A*S*H so that her favorite show never ends. i love her.

7.6.23

πέμπτι

wow hello

i missed my lil spot !! been finding cool personal sites & remembering what im about. wanting to put myself out "there" more , on "here". so much time has passed theres so much to possibly saaay oooo 2bad ehehe stayin Present. im gonna deck this baby out. coolsite time. Rock 'N' Roll i am keeping on Rocking in the Free World.

3.5.23

κυριακή

last nite:

gallette w/ apples, ginger, feta, walnuts & lemon juice + zest

crust is slightly sweet made w/ einkorn + thyme & rosemary

2.28.23

τρίτη

broooo i literally live my life like a crumpled piece of paper who let me do that.....{(ME!!!!)}
wowzerz,

2.24.23

παρασκευή

i need to vent abt how LAZY ppl are its driving me nutso!!! i guess thats actually most of what i even wanyed to say like just get out a bit of this energy.....but i keep running into this theme of self-reliance (or lack thereof) in small & big ways and im gettign scared abt ""The Culture"" sucking huge butt

this is coming from a person who was & still finds themselves in that space of "forgetting", which i havent forgotten. ive gotten way better at remembering and im proud!

"remembering" is so slept on. you have options all around you, at all times.

remember,
remember,
remember,
remember,,,

2.22.23

τετάρτη

damn lol. whatta life....

1.28.23

σάββατο

the einkorn pilgrimmage was made. mild damaged sustained but rewarding nonetheless.

narfie visited this morning! our tuna was rejected, but pets were accepted as always.

1.27.23

παρασκευή

got weeeiirrddd sleep last nitee, but slept in w/ sooo much huggie ^____^
passed out during the scrabble game cuz echo took too long trying to make a 7 letter word.

theres quite a bit of dust on the middle part of my cymbals, but i can see where the edges get some play. where does all the dust com e from. just, The Outside? the inside is a different version of the outside. bc the outside doesnt have the warm blankey & stuff...

1.26.23

πέμπτι

so much food ! yumyums abound,,
my first liver patê came out gr8. we already finished the bread & i gotta wait until 2zdae for more {N0NE}Korn.
the 1st pass is so slooooow.............
6 more to gooooo.,#*+_`.-"~;^

1.23.23

δευτέρα

i felt the spotweer which i realized were $the vision endedi think i keep waking up with strong ideas bc i dont dream as much anymore, but i immediately thwhich is around my heart ()

and when i moved THAT a small dark stone came out that i put into a jar er which i realized were $and was trer which i realized were $ying to figure out



where tof my throat saw me with an azeztulite moving over my body & it would find something and stick to it like a myo bury it when thenet. i could move what it found through my body using t think i keep waking up with strong ihe crystal, so i moved it up and out of my throat to nd through my body using the crystal, so i moved it up and

out heart (azeztulite is also specifica where i think some pain is d i started up coughing up crumped paper which i realized were $100 bills?? so then i felt the spot where i think some pain is stored which is around mstored which is aroundazeztulite is also specifiup and out of my to release re to bury it when the vision ended

1.21.23

σάββατο

i dont remember my dreams but i think i had some, likely pleasant. we both slept rlly well.

Latin "avis" (bird), referring to divination by observing bird flights, singing, feeding or entrails, from Proto-Indo-European *h,éwis (bird); + Latin "garrire" (to chatter), from Proto-Indo-European base *geh,r- (to cry, of imitative origin).

its cooler to be sent the dreams in waking life. following faith by the breadcrumbs.

i heard some animal cry this morning i couldn't identify. one those handful of creatures that sound like a cat or baby.

i hope the foxes arent prevailing in the year of the bunny. feels like an affront. that might just be how things go tho.

1.19.23

πέμπτι

scrutinizing the rubber factory
among other things

i can ask more cats for help to feel better! theyre telling me quite a bit today actually.

i think i have my own version of the snake. the sun finding the moon(.0*)

1.17.23

τρίτη

a lot.
scrabble,
hiding;

1.14.23

saturday

waking up super early again.
the both of us. its good.
i think this is "my time".
in the past ive made many discoveries between the hours of 1-6am.

i think its wrong to put the period inside the quotations at the end of a sentence. the period is not a part of the quote.

I DOnt WAnna Die Without Any Scars
- Tyler Dursdon

This You;re Life And ITs Ending One Moment At A Time...
- Tiler Duron

You Are Ynot You're Job. You Are ot your fuckin Khankees
- Tigler Largeman

You Are Not Special
- True

1.13.23

friday

friday the 13th huh? its gloomy & rainy, not much light at all really.
i see my dream kitchen.
hand-built.

1.12.23

thursday

"ICONIC"
"what?"
"fucking nothing man,the sidewalk"
"do you remember gogurt?"

1.11.23

wednesday

the bed feels good again. "im leaving my sleep trap." our heads are facing south. its southeast, even. ideal :3c
we used to buy a tub of ice cream a week. what the fuck.
hhthere are a lot of phases to go thru. the ice cream one was very tasty.

1.10.23

tuesday

cloud
not even true gray
maybe the truest grey?
between the inbetween
3.24%

1.9.23

monday

im starting this thing. it feels good. im letting myself say it in a normal way. it feels good. thats it. i have an expectation for this. i dont need epxectations. i have one that i'll use this. thats why im making it. ^^ hehe. i like the rainbow keyboard.